All The Right Everything Will Come Along

What are you like when you enter a relationship? From personal to professional? Do you put your best food forward? The one with the impeccable pedicure and the Gucci sandals? Only to reveal your other side once that perfect foot is in the door?
You know, the callused hoof with nails like a sloth, stuffed inside Uggs? Is that fair? Did you misrepresent?

I had 14 pairs of gorgeous matching bras and panties back in the day. They were all flowers and lace, smelled like lavender and wrapped in tissue paper. I had them in order, from first date, to seduction, to weekend trip away together. I would rotate them until the deal was sealed. Until we were a couple, which meant that I had an automatic date on Saturday night. After that, what the poor guy saw were the tan cotton Haines, white granny panties, or tattered old G strings. With a plain black bra. No more pretty, frilly, matchy, matchy.
TMI? Nope. Just TM…Total misrepresentation!

Our stepmother was all platinum cotton candy hair, false eyelashes and kind, loving, nurturing words. Glenda the good witch.
Until our father married her. The last champagne glass hadn’t been cleared when she demonstrated her true nature. Out came the pointy black hat while she cackled her admission of hating children. My brother, sister and I gulped and waved as she rode around the room on her broomstick. “This is gonna suck.”
My dad just looked bewildered as he realized he had been sold a bill of goods. Total misrepresentation.

I had a friend in the eighties who lied to get a managerial position. He had never managed anyone, anywhere, anyhow. Day one he realized he was in WAY over his head when he was ushered into a large boardroom for introductions and to lead the Monday morning sales meeting. He excused himself to “get his briefcase”, commando crawled to the elevator, jumped in his car and raced to the nearest bar and got shitfaced.
Total misrepresentation.

Why does that happen? Can’t we be who we REALLY are and get what we want?

Why do we only wear the good undies in the beginning, lie to get the wrong job, imply we love children when we don’t? When we misrepresent, we start off the whole relationship on the sloth foot; in disguise.
I’ve had it happen to me, and I felt mislead and disappointed.
Realistically, we can’t show ALL our warts at the start, but couldn’t we be the BEST versions of our flawed selves? Like warts with a bit of concealer?
After all, no one’s perfect. I know that to be true!

So I’d advise that we all be our magnificent, perfectly imperfect selves.
Wear normal clean underwear on dates. He knows he’s not dating a Victoria Secret model, he likes the sensible girl.
Please don’t tell Mr Right you love his kids when you don’t. That’s just wrong on so many levels. They’ll be a guy who’s a better fit for you. I promise.
Try not to exaggerate your accomplishments on your resume. We all do, I know.
But if you’ve never skydived, don’t say you have. THAT will be a very hard one to get yourself out of.
Let’s not misrepresent. Be patient. All the right everything will come along.

XoxJanet

Have you misrepresented yourself? Even just a little bit? How did it work out? Tell me in the comments below