Hard Feelings With A Side of Blame…An American Thanksgiving

Hard Feelings With A Side of Blame…An American Thanksgiving

Hard Feelings With A Side of Blame...An American Thanksgiving

I’m beginning to realize that all these posts on forgiveness are going to come in handy for the upcoming holidays and their familial entanglements.
Thanksgiving in the US can be brutal because of all the Norman Rockwellian
expectations.
Unfortunately, what we imagine as warm and fuzzy, can quickly turn cold and prickly.

Even though everyone at the table is somehow related, dinner etiquette can morph
into a kind of blood sport. 
Back handed compliments and thinly veiled sarcasm abound, and it’s just not Thanksgiving, if somebody doesn’t cry.

Put tons of carbohydrates, lots of judgement, a dash of shame, with a pumpkin pie chaser and voila! 
Hilarity ensues!
NOT!

When you put together people that only sit in the same room once a year, there isn’t enough alcohol on the planet to keep you in “that loving place”.

It can turn into a real numb-fest.
The carbs numb you down,
The booze,
The sugar,
The football,
The sour cream onion dip,
Yes, you heard me!
It all numbs you down, so you can smile and remain polite,
making sure that everyone lives to see another holiday.

But let’s all remember that everyone has the highest of intentions
when they pull up the driveway.
And each year can be a fresh start.
When you make forgiveness the first course, 
knowing that everyone is just doing the best they can, 
it makes the rest of the day play out differently.

My family is loving, relatively sane, and really quite civil now.
I think that’s because we’re all so damn old!
The last time we served crazy for Thanksgiving was during the Reagan
administration.
Gone are the comments that are meant to be funny…but aren’t,
followed by that uncomfortable silence.

Still…let’s all practice forgiveness,
try to operate from the heart, remembering the true intention of this day.
Take a deep breath,
And listen with love as our well intentioned aunt tells us how much she dislikes our new haircut.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Xox Janet


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2 Comments
  • Reny Salamon says:

    That’s funny Janet! I do recall a few childhood Thanksgivings when a passive aggressive comment was served up with a smile. Damn those awkward silences. For the most part, everyone brought their “A” game filled with Love and patience and gratitude for all the players at the table. I do remember one though…whew…. In high school I was dating this girl who was one of eight siblings ranging in ages from 12 to 28. A sweet mother who loved her Seagrems ( 7 & 7’s) a bit too much and a man friend that none of her kids cared for. Excited about my invitation to their Thanksgiving and sitting around a table of about 20 imiadite family members, a toast was lovingly delivered by the eldest daughter….. A snarky remark from the mothers friend was tossed out and all hell broke loose. I just remember sitting there in awe , my heart filled with pain over the whole family’s unrest, food flying every where, yelling, screaming, Oh God… the friend got up and left trying to convince the mother to leave her family and go with. She stayed….. what was left of the food was passed around…quietly. The mother expressed her sorrow about the experience, and a minute later started laughing at the outrageous ness of the event. The whole table roared, I was thankfull there was laughter.

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