We May Have A Reason To Hate December ~ 2014 Reprise
“Suffering is traumatic and awful and we get angry and we shake our fists at the heavens and we vent and rage and weep. But in the process we discover a new tomorrow, one we never would have imagined otherwise.”
– Rob Bell
This goes out to all of you that have been suffering as of late.
Around me there has been illness and the passing of parents, friends, children and pets.
There has also been relationship shit. Friendships ending, break ups and businesses dissolving.
December is an interesting month, a chameleon of sorts.
It can be a time of great joy, or thirty-one days of turmoil and sadness,
and it doesn’t help that it gets dark at 4:30 in the afternoon.
I remember, back in the early nineties, being in the pits of depression and anxiety this time of year and the nights were interminable.
Then it rained all day.
Everything it seemed, was conspiring to add to my misery. For a couple of years I fucking hated December—way too dark and twisty.
It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?
I asked my resident guru at the time about December and the energy it holds and this is what he said in a nutshell: (because I’m certain the conversation lasted four hours because I was surly and dense—and he liked to teach).
“Obviously we layer unattainable, unrealistic expectations onto December and the holidays in general. A lot of us live in disappointment for the entire season,” he said with a certain amount of dis-attachment.
THAT I understood.
(And those were the days before Instagram, where you can view everyone else’s perfect life in a parade of pictures).
But then he went on to talk about the energy of the month.
“It’s a time of transition and many of us don’t do transition well,” he turned his gaze directly at me, boring a hole into my soul. .
“Even though energy doesn’t know that December is the last month of the year and a new one is about to start, we do – and energy facilitates our beliefs.
In other words, energetically, we are leaving the old behind and stepping into a new year, and every year brings with it its own ramped up energy.”
He explained that the bumping up of energy, left a lot of us feeling sick (it takes a toll on our bodies) which we then just chalk up to exhaustion or a bad case of the flu.
It can also be a time of exits. Souls that don’t care to make the leap into the next year… leave.
I always remember his words when I hear about sad things happening in December.
When people are vile; I blame it on the energy.
It does seem to bring all unresolved issues to a head. Consider it energetic housecleaning. You really don’t want to bring all your old baggage into the new year – trust me.
You want to create a new tomorrow, as Rob Bell says above.
It can sound trite, especially when you’re in pain, but if you’ve lived as long as I have, and been through as much shit; you KNOW it’s true, and knowing that gets you out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other.
So shake your fists at the heavens, my loves, vent and rage and weep…and then get on with it.
I’m with ya…Fucking December.