Let me start out by saying that I never write these posts.
At least not the everyday, regular me that you would meet at the supermarket.
I let “them” write the posts.
“they” are much more profound than I am, and what they write is well articulated in the first and only draft.
And I like the anonymity.
I don’t fancy myself a writer, never have.
I’m not one of those girls who’s written her feelings in a journal
or confessed to a diary every night.
Nope, just not me.
But during this 4500+ mile motorcycle journey I started experiencing something unusual …for me, and I thought it would be helpful to share it.
I’ve ridden many,many miles on the back of our BMW GS adventurer.
All over the world.
But for some reason on this trip I found myself crying…a lot!
And I’m NOT a crier. If you asked me the last time I cried before this,
I’d be hard pressed to remember.
These tears did not come elegantly, like that one perfect drop down the cheek.
Nope, my crying was loud, and sloppy, with big gasps for air, and long whaaaaaaaaaaa’s.
Just like a little girl.
You know how children are easy to cry?
I was easy to cry.
And no one was more surprise than me!
I cried from exhaustion,
I cried from aches and pains,
I cried when my helmet wouldn’t come off and I had to pee,
I cried when I was terrified,
I cried when I was blissful,
I cried when the weather was cruel,
I cried from the beauty of the Redwoods
Or the ocean,
You think I’m kidding,
After a particularly scary incident on the plains of Montana, in the pouring rain, that scared me so much I “movie screamed ”
( like those screams from slasher movies, which I didn’t know I could do, and made me cough for hours afterword)
I cried hysterically,
big boo hoo hoo’s for 10 miles!
While my husband patted my leg and tried to get us past the storm.
10 miles!!! About 10 minutes straight!!
I’ve never done that!
My point in sharing this is this:
I became raw.
I was raw from riding so long,
I was raw from trusting someone else with my life…..my LIFE!
And it allowed me to let my guard down enough to cry,
Which for me is quite something.
After almost 17 days of crying,
I feel renewed somehow,
And I’m guessing I needed the release 😉